推荐书目：
- John Cho & Sarah Suk，《小赤佬》（Troublemaker）
- Luvvie Ajayi Jones,《职业小赤佬：浇灭恐惧的用户手册》（PROFESSIONAL TROUBLEMAKER: The Fear-Fighter Manual)
在ALA 2022年会上，Troublemaker变成了一个意象极其美好的单词。想来想去，只有上海话里的小赤佬称得上是半斤八两的翻译，因为小赤佬的多层释义中，也有一层正话反说、似恨实爱的意思。
我听了两个小赤佬的故事。
一个是好莱坞著名演员以及新晋纽约时报畅销书作家John Cho, 他最近写了一本给青少年（准确地说，是中学生）的书，书名是《小赤佬》（Troublemaker）。这本书成书于疫情期间，正是美国对亚裔仇恨急速增长的时期。John在书的作者序上提及了疫情期间一件发生在他所在街区的亚裔仇恨事件，让他认识到“这时候已经没法心平气和了。”（“it just didn’t seem like a time to be polite anymore.”）他称之为“巨大的觉醒时刻” （A tremendous awakening)。John是韩裔移民，他并不是在美国出生的自然公民。过去他总是被告知这个国家并不完美，但至少在进步，虽然有时候进步速度几乎像蜗牛慢爬。然而这件事改变了他的看法，他第一次看到美国在倒退，并让他联想到1992年的类似事件，即洛杉矶暴动。John开始回顾自己家庭的历史，从父母移民到美国，到自己的生活，到展望下一代的生活，沿着这样一条家族线，他对这个国家的走向感到非常不安。因此，John开始与Sarah Suk联手撰写《小赤佬》，从一个12岁韩裔男孩的角度描写其在洛杉矶暴动期间的经历，试图将过去的岁月照进当下的世界，同时也描写了韩裔移民三代人如何寻找各自的社会身份（identify）。作为一名亚裔，John试图放大自己的声音，并把自己的历史和声音传递给未来一代。
另一个是尼日利亚作家、演说家、播客Luvvie Ajayi Jones。她最近也写了一本书，在纽约时报最佳畅销书榜上排名第三，书名是《职业小赤佬：浇灭恐惧的用户手册》（PROFESSIONAL TROUBLEMAKER: The Fear-Fighter Manual）。Luvvie的目标受众也是青少年。我不算是其目标受众，一般也很少看畅销书。但是听完她的讲座，我当即找来了她的书。没有人在我17岁的时候告诉过我，这个世界需要我的声音。这算是迟到的启蒙。而且，我非常喜欢——几乎是嫉妒——Luvvie整个人的状态。她是一个典型的、充满自信的、随时积蓄满了爆发力的黑人女性。这些年，我突然从另一个族裔身上，看到了女性应该有的样子。亚裔女性往往被贴满了甜美、可爱、天真、柔顺这样被糖化、被物化的标签，而更加不堪的是，我们居然往往为这种流于表面的物化沾沾自喜，并竟至于奋不顾身地投身罗网，将追求这样的物化作为终身目标。
不，套用Luvvie Ajayi Jones的话来说，我不想被认为是甜美可人的，我降临这个世间、我所有的力量、我存在的目的和我的声音，不是为了在身后留下一个甜美可人的评价。我阅读的世界将会打开那一层层桎梏，直见真心。
以下是我记录和翻译的ALA闭幕式”ALA Closing General Session - In Conversation: Luvvie Ajayi Jones and Dr. Nicole A. Cooke“。愿我们都成为小赤佬，阿门！
Nicole (Dr. Nicole A. Cooke是南卡罗莱纳大学图书信息科学助理教授。她在此引用Luvvie新书中的一段话)：一群无所畏惧的女人和另一群无所畏惧的女人之间惺惺相惜，我们为彼此摇滚，因为我们给彼此创造了空间，我们肯定彼此的身份，尽管这种身份往往都太快被社会所抛弃。我们规范化彼此的虚张声势，这让我们可以自信地踏入社会。我的那些牛逼朋友们总是提醒我，我他妈到底是谁、我为什么必须高高抬起我的下巴。这是我非常有幸收到的、并且会一直收到的一份礼物。——这是我在书中最喜欢的一段话。
Nicole (reading her favorite quote from Luvvie’s book Professional Troublemaker): Bold women rock with other bold women, because we create space for each other and affirm identity societies is usually too quick to denounce. We normalize each other’s bravado, which allows us to step into the society with confidence. The bad asses among my friends usually reminds me who the hell I am and why I need to keep my chin square. And that is a gift I’ve greatly received and will continue to. This is my favorite quote from the book.
Luvvie：我是一个职业小赤佬，我以此为傲。我也一直在努力招募更多的小赤佬，并且我支持下一代也都成为小赤佬。我们怎样才能充满希望地存在于这个世界？我们怎么知道我们可以改变这个世界？做个小赤佬、破坏这个世界是惟一的道路。
Luvvie: I’m a proud professional troublemaker, and I am actively trying to recruit more troublemakers, and affirm the next generation to be troublemaker also. How do we exist in the world with hope? How do we know that we can make a difference? it got to be disrupting.
在一个不正义的世界做一个小赤佬，需要不停地反对不好的事情。破坏这个世界其实是我们到达我们想到的地方的一个途径。不要害怕制造麻烦，相反，我们要靠近它拥抱它。你也许挑战了有欠考虑的一个字、一个词、一个主意、一个想法、一场运动、一本书，不要因为变成房间里的挑战者而感到抱歉。如果年轻人早早就知道这一点会怎样？想象一下，如果你才17岁，有人告诉你，我需要你的声音，不要总是考虑做一件事，直接去做这件事，因为这个世界需要这个声音，因为这个世界、我们现在活着的世界本来就是由一群小赤佬建立起来的，本来就是由破坏者建立起来的。
To be a troublemaker in an unjust world is to constantly push back what’s not OK. Disrupting of this world is how we actually get to where we want to get to. Instead of being afraid of making trouble, I think we should just lean into it. It’s important not to apologize for being the person in the room who is challenging a word, a phrase, an idea, a thought, a campaign, a book, that does not feel thoughtful. What does it look like if teenagers get this message earlier? Imagine if you were just 17, and somebody actually told you, I need you to use your voice. Don’t just think about doing it, do it cuz the world needs that voice, cuz the world we live in right now was built by troublemakers. It was created by disrupters.
比如我们能在两小时里面旅行700英里，这是因为有人觉得这事靠马车肯定不行。得重新想象，也许——这听上去很疯狂——但也许一个锡罐头能让旅行变得更快？肯定有人会说，你个疯子，去一旁凉快去。但恰恰因为有人在某处开始这样思考肯定有其他办法来做这件我们已经做了几千年的事情，然后那人又动手去做了，所以事情改变了。这就是做一个小赤佬、或者其同盟、或者其帮凶的内核，也就是你觉得有不同的方法来做这件事，并且你投身其中。同盟不错，我会点赞。但帮凶才是采取行动的那个人，是当你不在场的时候却替你开腔的那个人，他们是真正在做事的人。同盟更加被动，而帮凶直接采取行动——那是我想做的。
The fact that we can travel 700 miles in 2 hours, is because somebody said I think the horses are not going to do this. We might want to rethink this idea and maybe, I know it might sounds crazy, but a tin can could get us faster. and I’m sure somebody was like, you are insane, you should go sit down. But somebody somewhere thought, there is a different way to do this thing that we’ve been doing for millenniums, and then they did it. So that’s really at the core of to be a troublemaker, to be an ally, to be an accomplist, is that you believe that there might be a way to do things differently and you said I am gonna to be part of it. Ally is cool, i put my thumb up. accomplist are the person who put actions to it, the person who speaks up at the room when you are not there, and they actually do something about it. Allyship is more passive, the accomplists put into action. that’s what I want to lean into.
制造麻烦以后随之而来的恐惧是真实的。对后果的感知也是真实的。如果为了做这件事用了我的声音，我们都会害怕接下去会发生什么。
The fear of causing trouble is real. The feel of consequences is real. And we are often afraid of what could’ve happened if I use my voice to do this thing.
人们之所以不发声或面对困难的事情却步通常有三个理由。其中之一是他们认为事不关己，不是我的部门，不是我的马戏团，不是我的小丑，我才不沾这个麻烦呢，您走好嘞。还有人是真的害怕怎么对付随之而来的惩罚。此外还有一个人认为通常都是我在发声，今天我就不说了。
There are usually three moments/reasons why people don’t speak up or do the hard thing. One of them is they are thinking this is not my charge, it’s not my department, not my circus, not my clown, I’m not going to touch that, good luck. There is a person who is really afraid of how I will face the punishment. And there’s the person who’s thinking that I’m usually the one speaks up, I’m being quiet today.
这三种人我都知道，我都能真的听到你们的想法。我想先问候一下那个觉得事不关己的人。我觉得我们都花了好多时间让其他人去干一些我们自己也可以干的活。我们花了好多时间击鼓传花，认为这跟我完全没关系。好比你的邻居家起火了，你看着烟冒起来，然后你幸灾乐祸，还好不是他们，不然就惨了。但万一那烟窜到你家呢？要是你替别人打了911，那火也许早被灭了，也就烧不到你家了。
I hear all three people, I hear you on a real level. I’m challenging the person who is thinking it’s not my service, my clown, my department. I think we spend a lot of time in this world, expecting everybody else do the work that we can also do. We spend a lot of time passing the baton, and thinking that’s has nothing to do with me. It’s almost like your neighbor’s house is on fire, and you see the smoke and you go, sucks to be them! but what happens if the smoke travels to your house? What happens when your house gets on fire? Well, have you called 911 for them maybe that fire could put out before it gets to your place.
不要事不关己高高挂起，这是我想达成的最大的一项行动。你能感同身受到的任何创伤都关你的事。任何正在发生的你正在目睹的事情也关你的事。我们经常期望其他人变成超人，但是我们也有红色披风。而且也许我们不应该只寄望于超人来拯救我们，蝙蝠侠也不错啊，蝙蝠侠从来不让任何人久等。而且你自己也可以做英雄。
So moving passed the idea that it is not our business, is one of the biggest piece of actions that I want to start taking. Any wound that you are in is your business. Anything that’s happening that you are seeing is your business. We are constantly expecting everyone else to be superman, but we also like have red capes. Maybe we shouldn’t leave it to just superman to save us, batman is not the one everybody has to wait for all the time? You can also do something.
还有那个害怕被打屁股的人，在这个世界惩罚的确是真实存在的，特别是如果你处在任何边缘地带。那些我们正在经历的伤口，尽管我们走在各种边缘地带，我们还是拥有力量。比如此时此刻坐在这里，作为一个黑人女性，我是这个房间里最强悍的人。至于为什么，那是因为我掌握着话筒，掌握着话语权。因此尽管我会被划归于各种边缘人群，此时此刻，我是房间里的最强者。当然如果我走下这个舞台，事情会起变化，因为力量是动态的，力量会更替。所以当我们坐在一个房间里，考虑着自身的边缘性时，我们遗弃了自己的力量，我们转让了自身的责任。所以当我们害怕后果、害怕惩罚的时候，我建议你问问自己，到底那个后果有多大的可能会变成现实？现在我几乎可以说任何事，因为我有这个话筒、我是强者，所以我与惩罚是绝缘的。因此如果我害怕惩罚，如果我把破坏这个房间的责任转让了，那只能说明我没有看清一个事实——因为我有话筒，所以我拥有压倒性的优势。因此当你在一个房间害怕受到惩罚时，问问你自己，我把自己的优势弄丢了吗？我忘了自己所掌握的力量吗？管你是部门主任，还是老员工，还是受人尊敬的，人力资源部门真的尊敬你吗？你也许是个同性恋，也许是黑人，也许是女性。但是如果你在这个房间里拥有一种力量，好好使用它。因为惩罚不一定真的会出现。我希望你把惩罚想象成一把达摩克里斯之剑，总是挂在那里。万一它真的掉了下来，这是最糟糕的事吗？你能挺得住吗？要是你果然因为发声而被开除了，因为你挑战了一个意见而被开除了，那也没什么，只能说明你本来就被圈养在一个笼子里而已。
And the person who is afraid of punishment, that’s real in our world. Especially if you are on any margins. But I think about the wounds we are in, the power that we walk in, in spite of some of the margins that we are on. Sitting right now, right here, as a black woman, I am the most powerful person in this room. and here’s why. The reason why is because right now I have the mic. so in spite any margins I am on, in this moment, at this time, I have the most power in this room. It changes when I walk off the stage, because power is dynamic, power shifts. So when we are in the room thinking about the margins we are in, only without also acknowledging the privileges that we are walking with, we are leaving the power behind and is shifting our responsibility. so when we are afraid of the consequence, the punishment, i just want you to ask yourself, what is the actually likely? Right now I can say almost anything, and I am insulated because I have this mic and I’m the most powerful person. so for me to be afraid of punishment, and I shift the responsibility of disrupting the room, means that I am not acknowledging that fact that I have all my privileges because I have this mic. So in the room that you are in and you are afraid of punishment, ask yourself, am I leaving my privileges behind? and ignore the power that I am wielding? Because whether you are the head of the department, you’ve been there long, you are a 10 year person, you are respected, HR really respect you? You might be gay, you might be black, you might be woman. But if you have that piece of power in that room, use it. Because the punishment might not be there likely. so I want us always challenge the idea of punishment as a thing that is stopping this. and if you receive that punishment, is this the worst scenario and can you handle it? so if you do speak up and if you do get fired, which again if you thoughtfully challenge an idea in a room, and that get you fired, you were working in a cage any way.
所以这个恐惧不是害怕被开除，而是因为它让人感到不舒服。那我就觉得，我们就呆在不舒服里好了。就让我们不舒服地呆在那个房间，因为真理缺失的地方也没有真正的和谐舒适可言。所以你在这样一个房间里反对不好的事情也不必担心随之而来的不舒服，反正那里本来就不舒服。
so if the fear is not being fired, is the fear just create discomfort? which I am like, let us just being in uncomfortable then. Let’s discomfort live in that room because in the absence of truth there is no real harmony any way, so what is the discomfort that you are afraid of bringing in the room by just challenging what is not OK?
接下来我们来看看我们到底在害怕什么。往往我们会发现我们的恐惧被堆砌得太高太大了，在恐惧里我们消耗了那么多的力量，以至于我们遗弃了本来该做的事情。因为魅影般的惩罚，我们放弃了本来该说的话和该做的事情。然后我们一抬头，发现世界变成了一个着火的垃圾箱，为什么？因为我们出于对不太可能到来的惩罚的恐惧，遗弃了力量。然后我们惊叹，怎么就沦落到这步田地了？因为所有好人都沉默了。所有人都认为这不是我的事，所有人都觉得不关我事。结果，它偏偏变成了你的事。
Let’s just pragmatically think about what we are afraid of. Often times that it will inform us that we, our fears built up to be too big, we’ve created so much power in our fears, that we are leaving behind of what we are supposed to do. We are not saying or doing the things we are supposed to do because we are afraid of this phantom punishment that really was not likely. And we look up and realize this world is just a dumpster fire because we’ve left behind so much of our power， because of the fear of this punishment that probably is not going to come. and we were like, how do we get here? it is because all the good people were quiet. All the people thought that was not my job. All the people thought that was not my business. And it becomes your business.
Nicole：你可以谈谈nice(可亲的、令人愉悦的)和善良之间的差别吗？因为两者的定义区分也可能会阻止人们使用他们的力量或者在该发声的时候发声。
Nicole: can you talk about difference of being nice and being kind? because the difference in the distinction of niceness and kindness could also keep people from using their power or speaking up when the time presents itself.
Luvvie: 问题很好。首先，我不需要你觉得我nice。我降临这个世间、我所有的力量、我存在的目的和我的声音，不是为了在身后留下一个nice的评价。但是我的确有意识地希望被别人认为是个善良的人。我希望善良是我身后的遗产之一。至于Nice和善良之间的区别，Nice的人告诉你外面在下雨。喂，Nicole，外面下雨了。仅此而已。善良的人会说，喂，Nicole，外面下雨了，我有多余的雨伞可以借给你，或者你需要借我的雨伞吗？善良的人会采取行动。而且，nice被当成一种武器用来对付女性。只要说她一点也不nice，人们就可以随意对我们品头论足。nice很随意，很善变。它说的是如果我见到你却没有表现得乐呵呵，或者我没有微笑着说早上好——可是我其实并不是一个早起的人。nice是一个借口，让人知道我不喜欢某人的某一点，但是我不打算告诉你具体是哪一点，又或者相反，有人在某个地方和我不对付，并且我打算告诉你。它一点也不具象，人们利用这个来对付女人，他们会说，天哪，她一点也不nice。他们以此来蔑视我们，来打发我们，来告诉我们我们不属于这个房间，因为只有女人受制于nice，你不会听到人们说男性不nice。对男性来说，这问题根本不存在。但是女性，我们被告知我们不算nice，仅仅因为我们没有表现出开心，或者我们没有竭尽所能忍让讨好你。
Luvvie: I love that question. One, I don’t need you to consider me nice. I didn’t get born in this world with all my power and purpose and voice to be considered nice when I’m no longer here. But what I am deeply intentional about is I want to be known as kind. I think kindness is where I want my legacy to also live, right? and the difference between nice and kind, nice is telling you that it’s raining outside. Hey, Nicole, it’s raining outside. OK. Kind is saying Hey, Nicole, it’s raining outside, do you need an umbrella cuz I have an extra one, or you could borrow mine. Taking action. Here is the thing. nice is weaponized especially against women. People get to say what they want about us by just saying she is not nice. Nice is a whim, it’s fickle, it’s the idea I did not get giddy when I saw you, or i didn’t cheerfully say hi in the morning but I’m not a morning person. nice is used to let somebody know I did not like something about them but I’m not gonna tell you what it is. Or something about them just rubs me the wrong way, and I am going to let you know that. It’s not tangible, people use that against women cuz they go oh my gosh, she’s not nice. she’s not a nice person. and they use it to reduce us, to dismiss us, to say that we don’t belong in the room for whatever reason because women are the only ones who have this attaches to them, you don’t hear people talking about men are not nice. It’s not a thing. But women, we get told we are not nice because we weren’t a chipper, or we somehow didn’t bend our back to be break for you.
我觉得我们必须更有意识地注意善良。怎么做呢？我也许在早上一点也不乐呵，我也许不是这种见到人就满脸笑容的人：“你好啊！周末愉快吗！天哪，这太好了！好棒！”但是当你不在那个房间的时候，我会确保替你说话。我一定会思考我的决定将会如何影响你。不管你在不在看，我会尊重我口中的自己，不会信口开河。比起那个告诉我早上好、却不会在房间里替我发声的人，这些更加重要。
I think we need to be more intentional about kindness. In what ways? I might not be giddy at morning, I might not be how are you doing? how is your weekend? oh my god it is great! oh yeah! But I will make sure when you are not in the room, I will make sure I speak up for you. I’ll make sure that I think about how my decisions gonna affect you. I’m gonna make sure that I am honoring who I say I am whether you are watching it or not. That’s more important than the person who tells me hi in the morning but doesn’t speak up for me in the room.
当我们害怕在房间里发出异议的时候，我们也在害怕其他人会认为我们不nice。我想把我们从那种niceness的期望里解放出来。你他妈没欠任何人niceness。因为niceness会根据不同的人以及他们当时的状态而改变。天哪， 她们不nice，但是她们善良吗？下次要是有人告诉你某人不nice，问问他那个人是不是善良。还有，要是你只能告诉我那个人很nice, 你等于什么屁话都没说，我还是不知道那个人到底怎样。“你认识Jessica吗？她好nice! ” 这什么意思？这个人在房间里会怎样表现？她们热爱的是什么？她们在意的是什么？nice这个评价什么都没说。所以我们要把自己从被别人看做nice这样一种期待里面解放出来。我们只想变得善良。这比任何其他东西都重要。世界上有很多人很nice但是他们一点也不善良。你知道那些人。那些被动攻击型的人，他们会来到你面前然后说，真高兴你说了这些，但是他们不会说出真心话。我希望这些人明白，如果你不善良，你的niceness对我来说毫无意义。我们可以既nice又善良，但是毕竟，nice太善变了。
So when we are afraid of challenging inside the room, we are also afraid of people considering us not nice. I want us to release ourselves from the expectation of niceness. You don’t owe anybody niceness. Because niceness changes depending on who you ask, depending on what they feel in that moment. Oh my god, they are not nice, but were they kind? The next time somebody tells you someone is not nice, ask them if they were kind though. Also, if all you could tell me about somebody is they are nice, I really know nothing about them. do you know jessica, she is so nice! what does that mean? How does this person show up in a room? what are their loves, what are their values? nice tells me nothing. so we just have to release ourselves from the expectation of being considered nice. we just want to be kind though. I think that’s more important than anything else. There are lots of nice people who are not kind. You know those people. The passive aggressive people who come up to you after the meeting and maybe they go I’m so glad that you said that but they didn’t say the actual meaning. The micro-appreciation people. We know a lot of nice people who are not kind. And I like them to understand that your niceness means nothing to me, if you are not kind also. We can be nice and kind for sure, but again, nice is so fickle.
